finding ways to say "yes"

hi love dare sisters!

are you all still with us? did we lose anyone??? i admit, after reading some of these chapters, my selfish thinking totally consumed me and i quickly thought of ways that i did NOT want to do what the book was telling me to do HA!

for me, and i'm sure for many, the biggest challenge is becoming less selfish and more selfless. i had thought i had been doing a good job of this.....that is until i read day 3.

"if there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness." ummmm, that's a pretty strong statement. i mean, how many times {a day!} have i done the following:

• complained about ALL the work i was doing around the house

OR

• been "generous" with something and consciously or subconsciously expecting something in return.

brandon LOVES golf. and i think that's great. except for the fact it takes 5 HOURS TO PLAY! not to mention he is exhausted when he comes home. i just realized in writing this tonight, that i was ok with brandon playing golf on friday because i wanted some time to myself too, although i didn't quite say that.

SELFISH ME!

i don't know about you all, but looking for ways to say "yes" completely wore me out yesterday HA! it just so happens that it was brandon's birthday yesterday too, so i had already planned on being less selfish :) but seriously, without complaining and without saying "no", i was beat by the end of the day. but.....i did notice a change in brandon, and i like it. he just seemed more appreciative and more loving. and he's been offering me some time to get out by myself. i didn't even have to ask. i can live like this.

and i realize, as with anything, you must work at it. repeatedly. if i want to lose weight, i have to get on the treadmill. if i want to buy a new car, i have to save my money. these things take discipline and they take work.

i love how the book says, "whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. it's hard to care for something you are not investing in." this is SO true. why would you care about anything unless you have a vested interest in it?

i'm curious what did you all get your husbands? this was REALLY hard for me. i'm horrible at buying man gifts. i ended up buying brandon breakfast from bojangles. with my husband, southern, fried food leads straight to the heart :)

i know i've spent most of my time on day 3, but that's simply because i found that day to be most challenging and revealing to me. it really openend my eyes to ways i was being selfish that i didn't even realize.

i do want to briefly mention today's challenge, calling your husband at work unexpectedly for no reason. while i need to seriously work on my selfish tendencies, one thing i think both brandon and i do very well is we check in with each other multiple times a day. we have always done this and it has always meant so much to me. i like to know that brandon's thinking about me and i'm sure he feels the same way.

good night and stay strong sisters!

day 1 ~ meeting His strength in my weakness

well girls...monday tried to kick my butt several times over the past 12 hours {toddler mega-meltdowns, 100 degree heat while running errands, diaper blow-out...i won't bore you with the other grueling details} but i fought hard and won the battle.  yes, there is a tutu and a dozen other random items laying on my family room floor.  and, yes, there are dishes and clothes stacked and yet to be put away.  and, yes, my floor {which my kids routinely eat off of} is filthy, but...i got 3 loads of laundry done, served 3 balanced meals, had fun with my kids, and kept my cool all day long.  the good news is my daily dare was fulfilled.  the bad news is i don't have much left in the reserve tank to write an incredibly thoughtful post.  but...here goes...a few observations to kick off our 40 day challenge!


(1)  :: strength in numbers ::   
there are several of us {myself included} who have attempted the love dare in the past and fallen short.  i am committed this time but just in case my commitment might start to wane i asked you gals to jump on the train with me because i could flake out and cause my own train wreck but i wouldn't dare get this thing off track knowing that the rest of you are precious passengers!  your accountability is invaluable to me...thank you sisters!


(2)  :: a habit ::  
here's one of the main reasons i am totally committed to seeing this thing ALL the way through...i want to form a habit.  there is gobs of research out there on forming habits and from what i've read folks believe it takes anywhere from 21 to 66 days for something to really become ingrained...i figure 40 is a darn good start.  the habit i want to form?  ~loving well~  the focus of this particular journey is our husbands but my hope is that in learning to love my husband well i will also begin loving my children, my parents, my friends {and even that annoying driver that just cut me off} well, too.


(3)  :: hitting me where it hurts ::  
day one...patience...seriously???  couldn't we just ease into this thing???  when i began to read today's entry i almost closed my book, waved the white flag, threw in the towel...  there is something you should know about me - on most days i am a ticking time bomb.  my impatient (and anything but 'gentle') flesh has gotten the best of me so many times and is one of the greatest battles that my heart faces on a daily basis.  at first i was overwhelmed to face this facet of love for my first challenge but quickly my fear turned to gratitude and hope.  for me, personally, there really couldn't be a better place to start.  if there is anything that i need a FULL 40 days to practice it is patience.  and if there is going to be any major breakthrough in my ability to love it must start with patience.  and anyways...God reminded me yesterday, before i even cracked this book, that He would provide me with the strength i would need to face this challenge and all the other ones that come my way.  this is where he led me...


from isaiah 40 ~He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak...those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.


OK girls...here we go...praying daily that each of you would embrace His strength in your weakness as we face this worthy challenge of loving well...


let me hear from you...

last day to be a jerk...

...of course i'm kidding, girls!


seriously though...tomorrow marks DAY 1 of our love dare experience and i hope that you are all pumped up and ready to go!  please spread the word about what we are doing and why...


speaking of why...why ARE you accepting this dare??


let the sharing begin...

now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  but the greatest of these is love... ~1 corinthians 13:13